Saturday, September 6, 2014

My Hero

My mind is screaming "Hero - Foo Fighters." I just spent the day with mine. Emotions are bouncing like flubber in my head. As one friend puts it, I am officially wazzed out. I want to scream at God, at the world and at the devil to leave him alone and give him a break.

My hero fights every day and with every breath. I don't know anyone with his courage and strength. He struggles and claws through all of his doubt and depression and holds tenaciously to the idea that things can and will be different someday. My hero never gives up.

He collects hugs and kisses from my kids like diamonds and hides them in his heart for later. He is going to need them again and again. I will refuel him every chance I get. But for today, they added up to a big toothy grin that stretched his face wide and happy. Today, I gave him a small respite. The ache of leaving is already starting to settle in. Tomorrow's breakfast will come too soon. 

My hero is a paranoid schizophrenic. He fights every day to keep himself balanced. He fights every day to not lose hope. He wants so badly to have a job, to have some kind of normalcy. He fights to let go of everything that this stupid disease has taken from him. He fights for peace.

He is not dangerous. He is not weird. He is funny and smart and he is my touchstone for so many things in life. He is absolutely my hero.