Monday, November 12, 2012

I went down to the Crossroads

I have an interesting choice to make immediately. I had to completely quit cigars (which I smoked socially so don't lecture me) and go through an indoctrination program or I had to pay my employer $600 more a year for my insurance. The problem isn't quitting cigars. They are tasty and I will miss them, but they are expensive and obnoxious as well. The problem is the social life. My life is a pattern. If the pattern bends, I am fine. I can adjust. I can be flexible. But if the pattern breaks, I am at a loss. Not being able to go to my favorite cigar hangout after a put my kids to bed changes the vast majority of my social life. I don't get a chance to be social before bedtime. It isn't that I can't, it is that I won't. My kids deserve a dad that is there, suited up and ready to go from the time I am off work until the time they drift off to sleep. My social life isn't allowed to disrupt my family life. So now, with this choice made, I am at a loss on what to do with my time after 8:30pm. I don't watch much TV. I like to read but tend to read obsessively so that it becomes a liability. I have considered taking up my paintbrush again and maybe doing something on canvas. If I dedicate myself to my original love, I know I can do some cool stuff. Maybe it is time?